(Widget wanders out of the living room, ignoring HerPerson, who is doing something over by the wall. Meandering over to her foodage bowl Widget has a nice little nosh to fill up the gaps, before strolling back to see if HerPerson wants to play.)
WTF??? THE WALL’S ON FIRE!!
Holy crap, Mum! Get away! Get away!! The wall’s on fire!
Widget, dear, it’s just a fireplace, like the one in the family room.
Um…oh yeah. I knew that.
I was just putting some kindling on to help get the fire going. Now, just lie down and enjoy it, there’s a good little puppy-girl.
Yeah, right. Enjoy it. Sure. Whatever.
I’m really bored.
I’m really, Really, REALLY bor…HEY! Wait a minute!!! What’s that on the floor, right in front of the flamin’ wall?
It’s STICKS! MyHuman has left me some STICKS! Oh, FURRY cool! There’s big ones and little ones and all difference sizes and flavours! There’s hard ones and soft ones and long ones and short ones and they’re all MINE!
I need to guard these sticks. It’s a moral imperative. These sticks are probably the furry last sticks in the whole world. And they’re Mine! I need to hide ‘em here under the cushions to keep ‘em safe.
I hafta chew on ‘em so everydoggie nose they are MY sticks. I’ll just lie here and mark ‘em all, startin’ with THAT one!!
(Silence ensues, broken only by the gentle sounds of gnawing and the occasional crack of splintered kindling.)
What the….? Wait! Where did it go? It disappeared. Nothin’ here but a stupid pile of sawdust. I hafta chew another one before they all evaporate.
(Twenty minutes later…)
Widget, get off the couch. What is this pile of sawdust?
Haven’t a clue. Who cares, anyway? I want a rawhide.