What to Eat First – Flowers or Chocolate?

Widget sniffing chocolate

Ahhhh, that smell!!

It’s Valentine’s Day.  MyHuman didn’t get any Valentine’s Day pressies, but she got the Wrinkly some good stuff.  Now, as you know, MyWrinkly sometimes isn’t all there, cerebrally speakin’, so she furgets a lot, and I can often play this into a real bonanza fur myself.  Today looks to be a really good chance, since she has flowers and chocolate.  Pretty soon, she’s gonna fall asleep an’ then I can pounce…


(sigh)  The sound of an enraged She echoes throughout the den.  So much fur the chocolate.  It smells SO good, but She’s mutterin’ about theobromine (whatever that might be) an’ poison-fur-dogs an’ how I must neverNeverNEVER eat it, even though MyHumans can (and do) gorge on it.  Life just isn’t fair.

On the National Geographic website, there’s a rilly good scrollin’ chart that shows how much chocolate you can tolerate, based on your weight.  Accordin’ to the Humans, no chocolate is good chocolate, at least fur dogs.  Kinda like Oh Be Dense trainin’…it’s always: do as I say, not as I do.  But we all know what Humans are like, don’t we?

So…now it’s just the flowers.  They smell kinda nice too, but not as good as chocolate.  Now that the Wrinkly is down fur the count, I’ll try a little taste…



Apparently, this is a cyclamen, an’ it’s also poison-fur-dogs.

MyPerson has found a list of poisons-fur-dogs on the ASPCA website, so you doggies can discover fur yourselves what not to eat.  Oh, BTW, there’s also a list of poisons-fur-ccccats, an’ fur horses, too.

My good friend Ollie, a Goldie ‘Triever, finds all kinds of lovely things to eat when he GoesFurRun at the park, but HisHuman worries that one of these days, he’ll get into something that disagrees with him.

He’s so lucky.  The only thing I ever find at the park that disagrees with me is other dogs.


The Pros and Cons of Having Fat Humans

Apropos of MyHuman starting yet another diet – here is my comparison of the benefits and drawbacks of having fat humans as opposed to thin ones.  There are distinct advantages to both types.  It’s for you doggies to decide…

Irish Wolfhound teaches his human couch etiquette

This Irish Wolfhound is teaching HisHuman appropriate couch etiquette.

1. They are warmer and more comfortable to snuggle than thin ones.

2. They eat more, so there’s lots of food around.

3. They have better padding, so when you knock them over, they’re less easily damaged.

4. They’re more likely to give you food when you do BigSadPuppyEyes.
(This is not clearly documented, merely an observation)

5. They tend to stay in one place more than thin ones do, so they’re less likely to startle you, and it makes them more cuddlesome.

6. This hasn’t been scientifically proven, but with more padding, they may have a lower
pain/cold threshold.

1. It can be much more painful if they step on your tail.

2. It’s harder to drag them when they’re on the other end of the leash.

3. They don’t GoFurRun as often, if at all.

4. They’re harder to move out of the way if they try to block you from going out the front door.

5. They tend to age faster and develop more age-related issues that prevent them from taking you to the dog park as often as you’d like.

6. They take up more room on the couch and/or bed.

It’s a close call, but in general, I believe the fat ones are preferable, though the ideal situation would be to have at least one of each, so you can have the best of both worlds.  It’s up to everydoggie to make your own decision, and train YourHumans accordingly. (see photo above)


Snow in MyOut

Lookin' at the snow in MyOut.

Lookin’ at the snow in MyOut.

I looked out the window today, an’ couldn’t see anythin’!  It’s been snowin’ all night an’ I can’t see MyOut at all!  Everythin’ is covered in a thick white blanket…even the trees are white.  I wanted to go have a pee, but when I went Out, I couldn’t even find the right spot.  My pee-place is just GONE!  EVERYTHIN’ is covered! Eventually, I had to squat just anywhere, but my butt disappeared into the snow!  Even my pee has disappeared!

This is awesome!  I could hide ANYTHIN’ out here!  My blankie, my bunny, my foodage, even my rawhides!!  I gotta go find a rawhide.  Where’s MyPerson?  Gotta find somethin’ to hide, just so I can go find it again.

(BigSadPuppyEyes)  Rawhide?  Pleeeeease?

You’ve had two today, Widget.  I’m going to start calling you Pudget.

Yeah, whatever.  Call me anythin’ but just GIMME RAWHIDE!

YES!  Nomnomnomnom…oh…um…I was gonna hide this.  It’s pretty small.  Maybe I won’t find it again.  I’d better finish it off an’ find somethin’ else to hide.  Nomnomnom…

Lookin' fur a hidin' place.

Lookin’ fur a hidin’ place.

Okay, what can I hide?  There’s my bunny, but the snow is pretty deep.  I don’t want to lose my favourite stuffie.  Lemme think…

Shoes!  Perfect!  I’ll just take one, so She still has one left.  She can have it back in the spring.

I am SUCH a good dog!


How Smart Are WE!!!!

Me, Widget, takin' care of MyPerson.

Me, Widget, takin’ care of MyPerson.

It’s completely amazin’, just how many dogs have real jobs in this world.  Most of us have the basic job of keepin’ OurHumans happy an’ healthy, but somedoggies go above an’ beyond.

Fur instance, my predecessor, daMoose (now at the Bridge), could tell when MyPerson’s sire (also Bridged) was sick with diabetes an’ about to have a sugar crash.  Moosie would come an’ tell Her, an’ she could go give the ol’ Wrinkly some sugar to keep him goin’.  Now that stupid humans have figured out that we can do this stuff, some dogs are bein’ specially trained as service dogs to help humans with epilepsy, heart conditions an’ other conditions that humans, with their inferior senses, can’t tell are about to happen.  Some dogs are bein’ trained to detect cancer, an’, of course, we all nose about seein’-eye doggies, hearin’-ear doggies an’ therapy doggies.

This is how I spend my days, keepin' the Wrinkly happy.

This is how I spend my days, keepin’ the Wrinkly happy.

My job is keepin’ the Wrinkly happy.  All day long, she obsesses about me…where I am, what I’m doin’, what I’m eatin’ an’ how I’m doin’ it.   She wants to give me treats all the time an’ feed me her foodage, especially ice cream.  MyPerson has said I must not have ice cream, beclaws I have allergies an’ shouldn’t have dairy or sugar.  It’s an ongoin’ battle between MyPerson an’ the Wrinkly.

My other job is greetin’ people at the door.  I am all over them, greetin’ them, with wiggles, face-licks and my best lean.  I have been known to knock ’em over in my enthusiasm.  I even broke MyWrinkly’s wrist once.

Some doggies have learned other cool stuff too…flyball, agility, huntin’ an’ retrievin’ an’ even dancin’.  In fact, I learned to dance when I was a pup, though we haven’t done it lately.  We learned a lotta canine freestyle moves before our trainer moved away.

But these doggies…this is beyond amazin’.  These doggies have learned to drive humans’ cars.  Now THAT is smart!  I wonder what kinda car I should get…


When Humans Get Colds

My humans have colds. They are all sick. They aren’t furry happy about it, but it definitely has certain advantages for a dog such as myself. Fur example, they are furry warm and are great to cuddle up with on a cold winter night.

Oh, so furry tasty!

Oh, so furry tasty!

The big advantage of course, is their leftover Kleenexes™, which are delicious. They have all kinds of lovely secretions on ’em, and the humans leave ’em all over the place. In addition, they don’t notice when I get up to no good. I can steal their Kleenex™, I can get into trouble, and they’re all so slow and sleepy that they don’t do much of anything about it.

Another benefit is that they don’t go out of the den at all, or even move around a lot. They sleep almost all the time. This is great, because it means I have ’em all to myself. My pack is safe where I can guard ’em.  No herding required.

I feel that it’s my duty to care fur ’em. They tend to be all stuffy and snotty, and they need to be cleaned up, (whether they like it or not…Mike, of course, being in the latter group – “Don’t lick me! Don’t lick me!! – although MyPerson and the Wrinkly rather like it, as fur as I can tell from the giggles). And besides, the face-licks are so furry much more tasty than usual.

It does get a little boring, since we don’t go fur a run or even play with my toys. And occasionally, they even furget to feed me, though fang doG, I have my own door to MyOut when nature calls. However, in my opinion, the advantages fur and away outweigh the disadvantages, and I have done my best to spread the colds around by having all the humans pet me so I can carry it to everyone, even those humans I greet at the door.

I nose in a couple of days, their dogs will thank me for it.